The Medicals, in Barcelona.

And the Spanish cruise line demanded that I had to have special safety trainings, and my employer had to comply... I was navigating around the Med, lots of Italy, little bit of Greece, Montenegro, in a pax cabin, sometimes with a window... Difficult life, I have to say...

The thing is that, from one minute to the other I have to find a medical facility that could provide me with full set of Medicals, and a nautical school that could certify me in several safety trainings. And that I did.

I disembarked a Saturday morning in Barcelona, took a taxi and went to the clinic that was going to do me all the tests, I arrived and was treated like a king from the very first second input a foot in the clinic. Well, for the money my company was paying for this medicals, better for them to treat me good...

First thing, blood extraction. Yes, please, so I could have breakfast, since I was still with an empty stomach, not to add an extra layer of fat on top of the test tube. As I said, it was Saturday, so the clinic was empty, it looked like I had the clinic for myself, and in fact, some of the specialist were brought just for my exam. Walking all along those grey, sanitized and long corridors was kinda surreal, all the time following my host and guide, that was taking me from one doctor to the other. 

The otorrinolaringologist (wow, I wrote that word without using the spellcheck) determined that my left ear suffered a little of all my years bartending in the nightclubs, but not enough affect me in my professional life. So, when in don't listen to something is not a physical problem, just selective hearing.

The oculist confirmed that my right eye noticed that is 40 years old, but the left one has not. Anyway, it is advisable that I use my glasses...

The radiologist made me stick my chest to a cold cold metallic surface with the shoulders forward. And I snissed during the shoot, so I had to do it again.

The interesting part was when I got my ECG, which was at the same time that I was getting some shots, and I found myself in an examination bed surrounded by two pretty tall nurses, pretty and tall, being naked from the waist up (me, not the nurses), while one of them was applying me those little suckers, you know, the electrodes, that there were not sticking because of my hairy chest. Yes, I didn't have a trim on that in quite some time, but I guess that I will do it soon, since some of those hairs are noticing that are already 40 years old, and beginning come out white, anyway, while one of the nurses was stabbing needles in my shoulders the other was making some electricity run along my body and taking my blood pressure. Again, interesting situation...

After that, the time for the doctor that was going to fill up the whole report came, and I was lucky (no, not a female doctor) an very funny, great humoured, white beard and blue kind eyes. Born in Montevideo, Uruguay, getting his MD in the University of Buenos Aires and after living for more than 25 years in Barcelona, Dr Alvarado was a character on himself...

-Eddie, your heart is a clock, but your blood pressure is high. Leave the salt shaker on the table, and drop the chips at night. By the way which is a good cruise line to try cruiseships for the first time?

We went over the two sets of medical exams until they were filled up in full, which kept me in the clinic until 1:30pm...

Seven years in the ocean...

Why I came to sea...

There were many reasons why, and a combination of factors that brought me here. 

All of a sudden I found myself in a job that was not fulfilling any more. I was a sales supervisor in a call center, doing pretty good, making fairly good money, with aspirations for a promotion into management, I knew my product very well, and I was very happy with that. Going to work every day, even when commuting was difficult and long (about two hours each day), I enjoyed my routine, waking up at 11am, shower, shave, going to my parent's for lunch (they live next door) and then taking the bus for about 30 minutes  to the train station. Having a coffee at the station at Toto's Bar (espresso macchiato, in a double shot glass and with cold milk, so if the train shows up unexpectedly I could finish it in a gulp... I never liked paper or stereo foam cups) Taking the train, which it was never good, but since I was not going during the rush hour I always could get a seat and read. I read so much during those train rides... From the classics to poetry to novels to management and methaphisics... my mother's influence...

- Eddie, you gotta read this, it will change your life... 

- Mom, I like my life, why would I like it to change?

Well my life was going to change even if I wouldn't like it to change, but I didn't know it by then...

After the train, walk three blocks to take the subway to the office. Get to the building, go to the 5th floor, meeting with the other supervisors, check the metrics, meeting with my boss: 

- Eddie, we have to increase the revenue per call, they opened another call center in the Phillipines, and they are getting a chunk of our call flow... We don't want to lose this account, so make it happen!

- No worries, Boss, I'll implement some big prizes contest and you'll see the results tomorrow...

Then I will hit the floor, talk with my team, praise them when they close a sale, audit some calls, take a few escalations, read my email and send the EOB reports. And my business day was done... Take the shuttle to the bus station, by then would be around 11pm, get a slice of pizza and glass of cheap muscat wine standing at the counter, with all the at Banchero Caballito, the traditional pizza place (it went out of business just two week before I quit the job to come to see, I should had read that sign too) I would enjoy some little conversation with other guys of the job, or with the other working class guys that were going back home late at night. 

After a few years with the same routin we got to know each other, the door man of the 5 Star Hotel 

- Eddie, come to work to the hotel, I know you are a good bartender, and you speak English...

- No, thanks, mate, I like where I am...

The Bolivian cook from the fancy restaurant downtown, that worked with me in TGIF and was always sending his regards to Juan... That was a Cook, a real line cook, Bourdain style... The security guard from the electronics shop; the prostitute, with sweat pants and t-shirt, always baggy, always trying to hide her curves, sometimes with too much make up for the sporty clothes she wore. That was the 1am bus gang, and of course, the bus driver, who knew us all and didn't even ask for the destination anymore, good old Pepe, always smiling and greeting everybody, something that does not happen at all in a big city bus. 

Then, another 75 minutes to get to my stop, sometimes more, if it was a weekend, but another hour to read, or dose, and that was a good thing about the routine, we could sleep trusting that in the right stop, if we didn't get off the bus, Pepe would say the name of the stop out loud to wake us up so we wouldn't get to the end of the line.

I had a girlfriend then, young, with a big smile, and with two big... how to put it without sound vulgar well, yeah... Big boobs, I was always a boobs guy, what can I say. We were dating for about a year by then, and we were talking about weddings and stuff, but she was way too spoiled, and loved to spend my money, or to be fair, to make me spend it on her. But I was having fun, and I was getting used to the routine.

That was the time, also, that after fifteen years of inactivity, comings and goings with my sisters, a lot legal matters, three lawyers and quarrels we managed to get rid of my father's last girlfriend from his house (he past away in 1992, and she was living there since then, with our agreement, paying no rent but taking charge of the taxes, which she never did) so we sold it, and I found myself with exactly u$s 3000. Not a fortune, but the biggest amount of money I ever had, all together, in one pile, that was completely, absolutely and totally mine.

The next day I got the stash, I was downtown, waiting for the girlfriend to come out of work and I get  call from my boss

- Eddie, are you around?

- As a matter of fact, at two blocks of the office.

- What the hack are you doing in town on your day off? That girl of you is going to drain you! Anyway, come here now, we have a call with client, and I need you here.

The conference call was short, quick, and with a long lasting pain, like a punch right below the sternum. An internal change on politics in the client's strategy was removing their operation from our sphere and taking it all in house. Basically, in gone next couple of week, our project got dismembered and everybody was tossed around different floors in the building, some were fired, some quit, and I was in charge of leading the retreat and be the last man standing to take the last few calls. The reason for that was also that I was ready to get promoted, we were growing, but with this quick change of course, and me being "available", nobody wanted me because I could take anyone's management aspirations just because being in their own floors. So I was sent to training in a new project, a technical support project... I'm a Sales Person, for God' sake, not a freaking technitians! I measure my success of a day by how much money I squeezed out mus customers pocket in an average of seven minutes per call, not by how many people I get reconnected to the internet, in an average of 45 minutes! 

But they sent me to training, a 30 day training so I could lead a team of twelve kids that were going to be talking with every single grandma and grandpa in America about how to go online. It was during that training that I started to play online games, something I always criticised all my colleagues about. The training was boring, the trainers were former agent of my team which I helped getting promoted, so I didn't respect them much, and when they tried to push me with tests or warnings, I just plainly ignored them in the middle of the class, I was an ass those days, and hated everything and everybody. And I hit the floor, and was put to audit "my team" which I hated them too. They were not kids I could push to close a sale and buy them a beer at the end of the shift because they sold a plasma TV for $5000, the biggest thing I could do for them was to chill them down when going to give up troubleshooting the connectivity of the the wifi router and the modem that Aunty Anna just bought from the nice guy in Best Buy, and since she didn't want to hire the Geek Squad to install it she is calling the internet company for them to get it connected, on the phone, and without her knowing how to understand the difference between the modem (the black box with five lights) and the modem (the grey box with the little antenna, the one that has the blinking red light, and, no, a red blinking light does not mean that is an emergency)

Anyway, I was on one of those calls when I see that my personal email recieves a new mail, and Yes, I had my personal email and my personal MSN Messenger open during my shift! 

It was an email from Princess, they were sending me emails since 2004 offering me positions on board their cruise ships since I applied for it the first time and it end up being a scam by a Chilean guy that got the representation of Princess to hire crew in South America and ended up selling the jobs on board... But this time, bored and tired as I was, I took the headset were I was listening Aunty Anna struggling with my tech off my head, opened my cell phone and dialled the number.

- Selection Partners, good morning, this is Luciano

- Hi, I just got your email where you are requesting bartenders for cruise ships...

- Wow, that was fast, I just sent it less than 5 minutes ago...

- Are you going to charge me u$s 1500 to apply for the job?

- No, we don't do that, you only pay for the expenses, medical exams passport and visas... No more fees...

- Ok, let's talk, then are you going to be in the office tomorrow at 11am?

- Well, I might be busy, and...

- Listen, mate, I'm qualified for the job and won't make you lose your time, and, in fact, I don't have much myself, so, let's do it straight away so I can beguin the process. I'm sending you my resume by email right now, take a look and tell me if you want to interview me.

- Ok, I'm reading it now, let's meet tomorrow at 11...

And that was the end of my career at the call center industry...

About "The Girl I Love And Refuses To Be Called My GirlFriend" (forfuture references: TGIL)

I never thought that since the very beginning of my life at sea she was going to be there...

Excited as I was, flying for the first time out of the country, after months of preparation, paperwork, interviews, passports, visas, I was in the US, specifically, in San Francisco! A dream come true. Once at the hotel, I checked in and since it was early morning, and didn't have to be ready to joing the ship until the next morning I called Sofia, and old friend that lives in San Francisco that made me promis her that if I ever go there I would let her know. That was ages before I would even think about travelling that far out of Argentina. But that part of the story will be subject of a future entry. 

The fact is that when getting into the shuttle with all the embarking crew she was there, TGIL. I have to say, I was nervous and happy, and tired and jet lagged, and taking pictures, so I didn't see her at that moment. She was embarking at that same time, she was Cruise Staff, and was starting her first contract after her training in another ship. 

My training was intense, and very stressful, my adaptation skill at that moment were extremely challenged, and many times I thought about quitting, those were the times I was calling my parents at home asking for strength. The only moment I got to relax was when we had time to go ashore. We were in Alaska, so everything was new, and exciting. In one of the ports, Skagway, the whole team of trainees went out to explore, it was ten of us plus some other guys that wanted to go along the train tracks to the old Gold Rush Cemetery... And as we're were walking, someone started singing "Stand By Me" and we all sung along. As usual, I was taking pictures, registering the whole adventure, and posting all the pictures in Picasa (Facebook was popular yet) and she was there, she even was in the short video of singing. I didn't pay much attention to her, between the stress, the amazing Alaskan scenery, and certain Brazilian fellow that was acting like a dog, peeing around marking the territory around her, I didn't focus much on her, but she was there.

She also was around on board, in fact we have another couple of pictures together, she, with her yellow, table-clothe-like western-country style dress.

And the, when we went out in Juno, the capital of Alaska, again, with whole group, her, and this Brazilian fellow. The funny thing about this day, is that there is a picture of the three of us with an American flag in a salute fashion... An Aussie, an Argentinean and a Brazilian saluting the American flag... I never dared to show the picture to anyone, only many years after, to her...

Of course she was there on the farewell night when I left the ship to go to the Sapphire Princess for my first contract, that actually took me to her country, and where I bought a traditional Ausralian Bush Hat and a Dryzabone, that brown neck-to-ankle riding coat the the bushmen wear in the outback, and so many laughs and jokes brought to us in the next years.

So that is how I met The Girl I Love and Refuses To Be Called My GirlFriend.

Changes, Changes, Changes...

Lots of water have gone under the bridge since last time, and the begining of a new stage, plus to find the words to describe it, is already difficult. But I guess that this is what it will make it interesting, and a good exersize too. 

Let's see what are my motivations... On one hand, I think I have so many interesting experiences going on now, that it really worth the effort of putting them in paper. I want to share with my friends my travels, my troubles and my mind's caverns (lousy rhyme, I know, but if you don't like my rhymes, just read name of my blog)

I've been watching this TV series lately, Californication, about this writer from NYC living I'm LA. I was watching it crew style, that means, marathon style, because that is how we watch TV on ships, we get a few seasons of a series from someone' hard drive and we watch it until we are done, and then we go for the next one. For example, I watched eight seasons of Bones in about two months, three seasons of Two Broke Girls in about a week, but that was easy, twenty minute episodes are just like candies, you wake up, you see an episode, and you start your day with a laugh, you go for a nap, you see a short episode, and you sleep better, with a smile on you face. I prefer short sitcoms rather than long episodes because of this, still there are some exceptions, like Game of Thrones, that is being highly addictive, but since the episodes are so long that they were a real hazard to my sleep.

So I was watching Californication, and seeing this writer going thru all the things he goes thru made me think about typing again. Don't get me wrong, he is not a roll model to me, I will not start smoking again, I will not drink or get high as he does, but I can type again, because that is what I'm going to do, to type, writing is far to complicated, and I never learnt to write. I like to tell stories, and that is what I will do if I have nothing fresh to type. I will repeat those stories I've been telling my guest, and my drunks, along the years of bar tending and cruising to keep them entertained, so they would leave a better tip, and I could buy another beer on the crew bar. I have a bunch of good stories that I perfected  by repeating them week after week to new batch of pax (passengers in the Hospitality lingo)

But why in English and no in Spanish? Well, I would love to be able to write in both, but that would take too much time, and I don't want to think twice before I start writing, I just want to do it. Also, English is a more simple language, so the google translator will have a less corrections to do that if would do it the opposite way. To my English speaking friends, please don't get me wrong, technically talking, English is easier than Spanish, articles don't define gender, nouns neither, and a long array of differences that my vocabulary is not rich enough to enunciate.